You hippy fucks, thinking that I'm some kind of animal killing lunatic, leave now. There's plenty of places for olive oil, and for... um, butter if you're not a total shitstick. However, in some circumstances there's no choice but pork fat. So, if you have a problem with that, EAD first. Common choices are basically lard, salt pork/bacon, and various sausages. A combination of them will also work quite nicely. You can even add some steak for more meaty glory, but DO NOT think you're done with the animal fats.
Second, you're going to have to be wise about your hot sauce. You ass-hats thinking that Tabasco is the end-all, be-all of chili sauces, you too can EAD and get the fuck out. First, most important decision to make is the balls you're going to require to eat them. Beans are a privilege, and as far as I'm concerned, if they're too hot you can fuck yourself. More for me and everybody else who's earned the privilege to enjoy them. But, when circumstances call for it, let's say when you're cooking for a lovely lady who's, understandably lacking in balls, you need to tone it down a bit. That will not end the beans! Thanks to god's favorite salsa, El Pato. Duck sauce is what you need in any beans, and in any sissy-beans, you're going to do just fine with El Pato. If you're a man, or have lucked into a Latina of some sort, you can go apeshit. My personal recommendation is Cholula. Don't fuck around with anything else, Cholula is where it's at. That, plus El Pato's picante (in the green can, methinks) will get you all hot and bothered in the mouth. From the beans you pervert.
Other important things to remember are the various other spices. Onions are always required in large quantities, as with garlic. Don't skimp here, or I will show up in your kitchen with either a folded belt or baseball bat to "encourage" you to make the right decision. Salt is also required, either in garlic salt or sea salt form, are key. Yes, salt's going to kill you from the blood out, I know. Do it anyways.
Tomatoes are your next issue. I'm a big fan of a mixture of tomatoes in any beans. A basic ketchup/tomato paste + canned crushed/canned diced/canned whole can be used. If you're going fresh, my hat's are off to you. I don't fuck with that 'cause I'll eat the fresh ones and save myself the effort.
Finally, you need some beans. Canned cooked work ok when you're rushing, and being a lazy piece of shit. Bulk beans are the way to be either a hippy fuck, or your grandma. If you go with the bulk, be sure NOT to sort them to remove the rocks that inevitably get in. Yes, I mean it, do not look through the beans to find the inevitable small rocks that will crack your teeth if you don't catch them. It's too much work, and hey, fuck it, right? Figure out what you need to do here, cooking beans from raw ain't quite like boiling shit.
Now, some variety of sauce should be added in addition. Worcestershire or soy sauce are common choices. Sugar or honey is also a good idea, depending on taste.
Final note, starch and beans are a fucking killer combo. Heaven on earth. Go nuts here, any starch will work (if you're not a fuckhead).
Now, if you need more direction than that, fuck off.
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